boys and girls

i love looking at other people's photography, especially when they share the thoughts that accompany their images.
i've been looking at photos by this guy, clayton austin (claytonaustinlovestories.com), very much enjoying his photos and thoughts. i wanted to find out more about who he is, so i clicked "my story" at the bottom of the page and found something i wasn't expecting, but didn't very much surprise me.
no "i live here, i'm this old" etc, but instead thoughts on love, and a love for capturing it on film. it's fun to read a boy's thoughts on love.
all of this to say, i thought i'd share a little snippet from his blurb-about-self:

Lets face it. Love is an animal. Though my grandfather told me once that love is more like a bird, if you hold it tightly it dies, if you hold it slightly, it flies. ...I received a letter once from an old friend. She mentioned that she recently had her heart broke and could only wish to one day find someone that sees her the way that my couples see each other. How would she know when she has found the “one”? Trust me when I say that tender gaze, that almost kiss, does not come without work. There will be joy, there will be pain. I have known both. If you are reading this I want you to know that you are amazing. He is not. And this is my advice to you. Find a boy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back when you hang up on him. Who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead. Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats. Who holds your hand in front of his friends. Who thinks you’re just as pretty without makeup on. You will know he is the one because he will apologize first even if he feels he was in the right, because being right won’t matter if you go to bed angry. When you tell a joke he will laugh out loud. He will constantly be reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have found you. He will turn to his friends and say, ‘that’s her.’ 

This is the bird that my grandfather spoke of. When you find this bird hold onto it but remember to give it room to grow. Room to breathe. Do this together. And when you find him, call me. I want to photograph it. 

while i love the heart and notion of theses thoughts, the value spoken, i do think that girls need to learn to value their boys on a whole new level as well. though women possess an incredible depth of beauty that every man needs to find, men possess and incredible depth of strength, courage and goodness that every woman needs to have by her side. i also think that very often, men and women draw these things out of each other when their hearts get close enough. she needs him to discover the fullness of her beauty, he needs her to discover the fullness of his strength.

so i think my response to clayton's thoughts, directed to all the boys out there (though i wasn't really planning to respond), is that if you are reading this, you are strong. she needs you. find a girl who looks into your eyes with firm and joyous respect. who is patient when you are childish or don't understand her. who stares at you in admiration when you aren't looking. who finds you devilishly handsome even when your clothes don't match and your hair hasn't seen a comb in days. you will know she's the one because she will defend you when you've just had a fight, and speak highly of you even when you know you've been silly.. she will smile proudly as she walks into a room with you by her side. and when you let your ten year old goofy boyness come out with your friends, she will smile lovingly and say, "that's him."

when you find her, call clayton. i can't photograph that well.

photo credit: clayton austin--claytonaustinlovestories.com/blog

pictures with words

the effect of a phrase and image paired is amazing,

here are a few to gaze at:

photo credit: someone on the web

photo credit: kelsee irby

photo credit: kelsee irby

photo credit: kelsee irby

photo credit: kelsee irby

(can you tell i'm a fan of kelsee irby? she's 16 and a pretty stinkin good photographer.)

and

something i have been thinking/reading about lately....
these thoughts have been perpetuated and added to by the book "AND--the gathered and scattered church" by hugh halter and matt smay.


there are a lot of people ditching the organized church at present. i'm one of those defectors. most churches make me cringe. most books about church make me cringe. "Growing Your Church" bleh. 


this book, AND, basically discusses the fact that we are called to be the body of Christ, to fellowship with one another, to encourage and spur one another on, to meet together, etc. ....but we are also called to go. go into all the world, love your neighbour as yourself. leave your father's land and go to a land He will show you. go into the slums. go and be salt and light where none has been before. go to the ends of the earth. 


my pal jeremy recently pondered in a facebook note the paradox of the church's identity in light of these two very clear commands. 
i've been pondering it too. in the context of the actual body of Christ and in the context of my own life. what do i desire more? safe and happy (there are air-quotes around that one) christian living with christians? or down and dirty (shout out ian noland) gospel-living. living and breathing the gospel where people still need it. 


the guys who wrote AND gave a little diagram of the main components of the christian life, and the life of the church...it's three circles, overlapping...nah i'll just put the photo of it in here. that's probably illegal. meh.

so those are the three bits: mission, community, and communion. 
mission: evangelism, showing people the love of Jesus, mercy ministry, etc...
community: friendship, a place of belonging for believers and God-seekers, biblical real deal community.
communion: time with God...your relationship with him. worship, prayer, quiet time, going to church (because really, a lot of people in that church are there to get more than give)


a few pages after this diagram there is another one: basically the same, except the "communion" circle is way bigger than the other two. it represents how a lot of us live as christians, and how most of our churches run and are focused...get people to church, get people in bible studies, get people to have quiet times, get people to be into worship. 


and woot (raise the roof, props, power to 'em) for all of those things, they're all good. but they're not all. not everything. if you have a bunch of people trying to grow deeper with God, or at least hoping to be there enough to stay in the imagined good books, then you might slowly get some good shouting out of "God is good all the time, all the time God is good" and things like that...but what happens when they leave the church doors? or the bible study? or the quiet time? what happens when they're at the grocery store and someone's a jerk to them or they walk past a homeless man or a woman who could obviously use a friend or a friend who hates the word "church" is having a really hard time and there's no good answer but to turn to God...


what happens when real life happens? 


sometimes people don't want to hear "pray about it" or "i'll pray for you" or "you should come to church".....and correct me if i'm wrong, but i'm not sure jesus ever uttered those words. or any of his disciples for that matter. 


i have realized that my life as of late has become much living in the communion bubble and not much living elsewhere. and i'm a missionary! living in community! pfff. 


i was thinking about this whole deal in the context of the church, and the book is talking about it too, that we really do need to disciple people to live like Jesus. Jesus didn't spend his whole day alone with the Father...he spent time with Him in the morning, then spent time in deliberate community with his disciples and others who tagged along, and with them (or at least with them watching) he spent time showing the heart of the Father to those who needed it. needed mercy, acceptance, forgiveness, food. 


as the body of Christ, we need to figure out what it means to create community that is deeply inclusive for those who would otherwise avoid each other. people who are almost comical as friends. people who are passionate about God and people who have a lot of questions about God. the book calls them saints and sojourners. i actually just read this quote that i had on a sticky note: "every saint has a past, every sinner has a future"-oswald chambers. and i think that's how inclusive community is formed...there's common ground there that we need to spend some time standing on. 


but how does a saint ever come across a sojourner? in comes the mission. 


it all applies beautifully to the church as a body, but it's been hitting me hardcore as a person. if i am really trying to look and live like Jesus, i have to look and live like Jesus! i have to hang out with outcasts of society, the drunkards, the prostitutes, the thieves. i have to engage in deeply connected community. to give to and receive from the life that community holds. 


it's all been said before...we are the body of Christ, not the body part. i'd say i'm a part of a finger. probably the pinky. and a little pinky on its own can't do much. isn't worth much. it's being part of the hand, the arm, the body, that gives it any worth or power. do i love my pinky on its own? yes. i would be very sad to lose it. does God love me on my own? heck yes He does. but He knows there's more for me when i'm connected. connected to the ones who pull me higher, and the ones who are hanging on for dear life. 


all in all, we have to be ANDers. the church gathered AND sent. a tight family holding one another up AND a sent people, finding people and pulling them out of all their various prisons and sinkholes. 
there's just so much more for us.


that's all i have to say really. 


no, one final thought:
communion is obviously a word that means sharing, joining, etc. but the act of communion (the eucharist, te bread and wine)...what's that? sure we do it together, but what does it represent? 


brokenness. 
Jesus, broken and poured out. 
that is what we're meant to commune with. 


join in, share in, being broken and poured out.

satisfaction

we all want something that will last. that's why "a diamond is forever" and Ford is "like a rock" and a Nalgene has a lifetime guarantee

most of us spend a lot of time trying to find or create something permanent. something that just won't change, won't leave. maybe a relationship, or a job, or a look, or a feeling, or a lifestyle, or even an ever-possible "way out". if all the world crumbles, at the end of the day we want to say, "at least i've still got _______". 

because something inside of us instinctively yearns for a constant, a plumb line.

but a diamond is only forever if you always wear the ring. and ford is like a rock until you crash into a tree. and it's a good thing there was a guarantee because that nalgene is in a dozen pieces on the asphalt.

sometimes all the things we hoped would never change...change. like on the way from point A to point B, point B disappears altogether, and the path you followed blends in with everything around it. and you're left with just you. standing there. uncertain of where to go now, and how to get there.

i need something i can count on more than a diamond and more than a ford and more than a nalgene. i need something under my feet that i know will always hold me, and a covenant that does more than slip on to my finger. 

i need something more solid than the earth itself. 

i need something etched in my skin and burned on my heart. 

i need something that won't leave me even if i run from it.

and i found it.