holding on to hope and salad bowls

During a drive home last night I had an empty salad bowl as my passenger. Preparing to make a decently sharp turn, I reached over to hold the little guy to keep him from flying (there are no seat belts for salad bowls). It has been freezing outside, so I was wearing leather gloves and couldn't feel many details with my fingers, but reality hit as I rounded the corner and heard the sound of flying cutlery against porcelain:

in the end, I was holding onto the wrong thing entirely. 

And then my delightful and somewhat cliche brain launched into a self-sermon about holding onto God, which has been a recent theme.

He has been teaching me as of late that the only thing worth clinging to, the only thing deserving of my hope, is Him. He, Himself. Not His promises or my dreams that I hope He'll fulfill...

just Him. 

Thomas Merton said, "We can either hope in God because we hope for something from Him, or we can hope in Him knowing He loves us. ...Better than hoping for anything from the Lord, besides His love, let us place all our hope in His love itself. This hope is as sure as God Himself."

I've been thinking about this in so many little nooks and crannies of my life...all the places my heart tries to anchor itself in an attempt to pull something closer, to find certainty...

I've been working on pulling out those anchors, and thrusting them into the heart of God. From the "big" ones like calling and spouse, to the "little" ones like looking nice and dressing cute...

all anchors out, and into God.

Back to my riveting story: 
And then I got home, (<--great transitional line)
got a blanket, and grabbed Spurgeon. As per usual, I feared that he is actually alive somewhere and following me and writing devotionals that will fit precisely into the experiences of my days and weeks...and it's a little creepy.

His verse for the evening:
"Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; and quicken Thou me in Thy way." 
-Psalm 119:37
(can you guess what version of the Bible he uses?)
...he talks a little about those who waste their lives with obvious vanities...
and somewhere in the body of the evening's text, the following:

"Unless we follow Christ, and make our God the great object of life, 

we only differ in appearance from the most frivolous."

God the great object of life.

the goal

the aim

the focus

the supreme desire.

not him, not it, not then or that...God. God alone. 

El Simchath Gili--God my exceeding joy.

Thoreau said that he wanted "not to come to the end of life and discover that I had not lived."

I do not want to come to the end of life and discover that, disregarding all of my boasts and claims, my hope had never really been in Christ at all. 

When I die, my soul shall be entirely satisfied in Christ, in the presence of a perfect and loving God, and I will know in truth that nothing else even came close to satisfying. 

But until then, my endeavour will be to daily fix my eyes and my heart on Him. 

To pursue Him.

To hope in Him.

To hope for Him.

To hold all other hopes with open hands and eyes forward.

Whatever He should choose to give me in this life, none will satisfy like His love.

Like Spurgeon's verse said (if you could see it amidst the "Thou"s and "Thine"s) it is Him who empowers us to walk in His ways. Which is awesome. Because I stink at it, and without Him my endeavour would be utter failure.

"Better than hoping for anything from the Lord, besides His love, 

let us place all our hope in His love itself."

In case you're concerned, the salad bowl is fine.

My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. 

He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold;

I shall not be greatly shaken.

...My soul, wait in silence for God only,

For my hope is from Him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold;

I shall not be greatly shaken.

...Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us.

-Psalm 62